Big Girls DO Cry

Nearly one year ago, I started a wellness program. Not calling it a diet - my history with that word has been spotty. Very up and down (pun intended).  To date, I've lost 103 lbs with at least that much more to go. I was huge when I started. Could barely walk. Was hot all the time, out of breath, either couldn't sleep or wanted to do nothing but sleep.  And I'm not even going to tell you what would happen during a good sneeze or coughing fit.  Women of a certain age, I'm sure, are feeling me on that one.

I started down the wellness path out of fear- fear of being in a wheel chair, of having to rely on others for help, of having a heart attack, and fear of dying young. I was lucky to find such an incredible program (Fit Life through Cox Health in Springfield Missouri).  I cried during my first appointment with the nurse. I had not weighed in for many months, and I was horrified at my weight.  HORRIFIED.  I would have to be around 8 ft tall to be in proportion with what was on the scale. I felt overwhelmed.

But after meeting with my team (a nutritionist and a trainer), I started to feel better. Felt a glimmer of hope - like maybe I could really do it this time. And so I began.

The first year has not been easy, but it has been successful.  I decided to write this blog after being a year in to help with stress and to keep me motivated. I also lost a very dear friend 2 weeks ago in a plane crash. In my past fat life, I would have completely gone off the rail. Eaten my way through the pain and stress, but I managed to hold it together.  Not saying I didn't eat some of the cupcakes or cream cheese pinwheels that came in the door. And also some Doritos and Reese's Pieces. I did. The difference is that I counted them in my daily allowance and I didn't eat all the pinwheels or cupcakes. Can't tell you how big a change that is for me.

So I hope anyone reading this enjoys it. I would love to hear from others who are going through the same experience.  I need all the help I can get.

And by the way, the " 2 x 4" name refers to a childhood rhyme "Fatty, fatty, 2x4, can't get through the kitchen door"... I know, catchy.